First off, my dad has recently been rediagnosed with hodgkins cancer. it's definately something that you don't want to go through, but something that you know God has done for a reason, and that He will use it to bring glory to His name in the end. i admit, it's difficult to see that part of the picture now, but maybe that's just part of it..not seeing the whole picture, that is. I just pray that the side effects of the chemo [which he starts tomorrow] won't take a huuugeee toll on him though, because i hate seeing him have to go through it all.....it hate seeing people have to bear the pain and suffering of things like this...& especially when it's mi padre..
Next, i just got accepted to Liberty University, and i'm really quite excited. since about last march, i thought i had felt the call of God in my life to go down to Mexico for a few months this coming fall before starting school, just to do work for Him and draw closer to Him. although having gone through this past school year, i'm really starting to wonder if that's what God has for me, or if He wants me to go down to LU or somewhere else so that I can fellowship with other people. this is all mostly because this past year has been a hard one with friendships and everything. and to be honest, over the past couple months i've really, truly learned that i need to let God just write my love story, because no matter how hard i try, it just doesn'tttt work at allll. i'm just praying that God reveals to me in His timing and His will, who He wants me to be with, because i know that it'll be sooo much more than i ever expected or could find for myself! that's the cool thing about it! i'm just so psyched and can't waitt for it to happen!! :]
I'm just completely ready for school to be over and done with, so that i can go on with my life and experience all that God has in store for me. I just need to see the world, and everything beyond the walls of my school [that i've been in for almost 12 years]...it's just time, that's all. as of tomorrow, we have 3 months until graduation....Sat, June 27, 2009!! so can't wait..and then only to have my grad party the day after that! that's like the one thing that seems to keep me going as of now.
And then, Tammy [my cousin] is pregnant with her 2nd..soon to be named London, and then her & DJ's son Dawson. She's not due until lateee april/early may, but she started to dialate a week or so ago, and now she's having slight contractions because of some complications..baby London's still alive, but she only weighs about 3 lbs and from what they can tell, she isn't growing or gaining any of the nutrition that she needs, hence her light weight. we're all starting to get nervous, even though we're trusting and believing in God for a miracle to take place, so that little London will be healthy, as well as Tammy.
With all of this going on, plus so much more school related stress/discomfort, i'm just soo completely ready to get out and at least get away during spring break. i don't think that i've ever felt or been so ready in my lifeeeee! all that i can do right now is just lean on God to carry me through all of this until it's over...but sometimes it really is hard because it feels as if there's no point in it anymore..ughh, i hate feeling like that! sometimes i wish that everything would just end so that i wouldn't have to deal with it anymore, but then if nothing was there to deal with, i wouldn't feel as if i had a need for God anymore. the year 2009 seems like it has been the most challenging year of my life so far, but i'm sure that God has planned something great and amazing as it goes on, it's just up to Him when it's time to reveal it all to us..
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