you know when you're a little child, you dream and imagine how your life is going to be when you're all 'grown-up'? well, i know i always did. i always pretended i was married to my prince charming, and had kids and a big, fancy house with a white fence in front...Ooo, and a dog..can't forget the dog.
but i think as you get older, and things start to fall into place (or some things fall out of place) we begin to realize that we need to see the bigger picture.
i know i'm still young, and i still have hopes and dreams of having a family one day with a Godly man who i fall in love with; but until then, i'm really beginning to see that there are so many other things that need to be higher priorities at this point in time...
As i see people around me, and other relationships, it makes me look at my life and really put into perspective what i have been desiring and the desires that God has placed in my heart. i don't want to seek after the things of this world that i may want to, but to pursue the things that He has given to me for desire. this includes any possible future relationships.
relationships....something that has been on my mind a lot recently (especially while being at liberty, because they tend to push/encourage dating relationships, ha). and the more that i look back at my past relationships, the more i am able to see the stages that i was at in life.....
....but i guess i'm just going to jump to a point, because i'm not exactly sure if i know how to build up to it right now at 1:23 in the a.m. haha...but sometime in the midst of school, and meeting all sorts of new people, and just being out on my own..i've really actually been sort of content with it just being me right now and not feeling like it's extremely important to have someone. i mean, it's been just me for almost 11 months now, and that seems a little strange sometimes because he was one of my very best friends...(as cliche as that sounds, ha), but it's so true!
...but right now, i really just feel like God is telling me that things would be alright if i were to end up not being with someone, because His plans are soooo much bigger than i could ever dream of or think of on my own. and just by knowing that, it gives me a peace. so i guess what i'm trying to say, is that if God's plan comes down to that, i am going to be content, because i want to experience all that God wants me to; and go wherever God leads me to go. this is the most important thing.
so, with this being said (& written), i am honestly going to be content with whatever God has in store for my life...& i can't wait to see what the future that God has for me, holds!! :)
night!
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